Pause for effect.

Okay, so it's been about a week or so since my last post. It essentially comes down to total laziness. So today, I begin to write my blog post for Vienna, which is... well, if you've been reading this blog for long enough, you can probably guess one of the adjectives I'd choose. I really should try and get a hold of an online thesaurus sometime... Anyway, besides the point. Again the internet has decided that after a tumultuous relationship, it needs to once again remind me who exactly is the boss of whom, and not allow me to upload photos.

So, I guess you'll have to wait for that one.

However, something you should know. is that after about two full months of adventuring, which has been ever so much fun, I'm taking a bit of a break. I have decided to hide out in Europe for a bit, and reflect on this eventful trip and collect my thoughts. I don't know when I'll be done (long time readers will of course know that planning has not been my strong point here), but when I am, I will return to blogging with many photos and tales of amazement.

Until then, as ever, you are in my heart always.

Waking up an hour past checkout. As it turns out, the checkout time in some places is really more of a question of... guidelines.

Okay, so after a really wonderful, awesome time in Berlin, it was off to Salzburg. But again, I didn't learn from the last time I wanted to go there (remember, this is how I ended up in Prague), and all of the hostels were booked out for Saturday night.

Oh dear, I guess I really am not to good at learning new things, am I?

Oh well, I had to go to Munich first anyhow, as the Eurail pass I have doesn't cover Austria, so off to Munich again for me. And you know what? Without all of the craziness of Oktoberfest going on, it's actually not too bad a place. My biggest problem with Munich when I was first there (And don't get me wrong, I did have fun), was all of the gaudiness and kitsch of Oktoberfest. But when it's all over, you know what? It's actually just a normal city.

And like the last time I was there, normal city or otherwise, I went out drinking. And had quite a fun time. but god damn, I've really got to keep an eye on that. For a guy who may actually run out of money before I make it home, I sure do drink like there is no tomorrow.

But anyhow. 

So the day so far has been one of breaking the rules, and just getting away with it. I once said that knowing you will always be wrong, no matter what you do; is just as liberating as the knowledge that no matter what you do, you will always be right.

But either way, it's a dangerous state of mind. Living like that. But when the repercussions never seem to appear, it is hard to, for lack of a better word, care.

But so far, it's all worked out pretty well for me. So I woke up past checkout, and nothing happened, I just left, and got my deposit back, then I boarded the wrong train for my ticket (it was still going to Salzburg, after all). Then having to get off at the next station, to wait for a whole ten minutes for the next train. 

And everyone was really quite pleasant about the whole thing. The ticket guy even seemed apologetic. Maybe it's because he didn't speak a word of English, and a very pretty girl in the same train compartment was kindly translating for me. People are always much friendlier when there's a pretty girl in the room, this is what I've learnt from this.

Oh, and the ticket itself was kinda funny. I go to find out the cheapest ticket to Salzburg from Munich, to find out that it's either 22 euro for a return ticket, or 26 euro for a one way. Now, I'm not sure exactly when I'll be coming back from Austria, but it wasn't going to be today. So I asked the guy at the ticket counter, "So, can I just buy the return ticket, for four euros less than the one way ticket, and not come back?" "No, you have to come back on the same day." "Yes, I understand that, but what will happen if I don't. What will happen if I just... stay, in Salzburg?"

And this was the funny part, because even though it seemed to go against everything he knew, and against his established order of The Way Things Are, his reply was "...well, nothing."

"Then I guess I'll take one of them, then."

It hurt him to do it, you could almost see the pain it caused him to print out that ticket, but what else could he do?

At this rate, you'd think I was going to get locked up for anarchy.


So, anyway, Salzburg! 


Pretty! Awesome mountains 'round every turn. And my first full day here, I woke up to see the first snow of the season for Salzburg. 

Okay, and I know I live in a strange fantasy land sometimes (or, y'know, this entire trip), but I did wait around this lamp post for like ten minutes, hoping a faun would pass. Or someone with Turkish Delight.

And then I came upon ths place, which just made me think, after the lamp post and all, that maybe I'd wandered into the White Witches grounds.

Yep, definitely the White Witches place. I never did get any Turkish Delight though.

Anyhow, after the day progressed, and got a whole degree or two warmer, the snow became sleet, and then rain. Which is, of course, much less pretty, and frankly, just fucking cold and wet. So I went into a bar...


I think entirely too many of my blog posts contain those exact words. "So I went into a bar." If there were another two people with me, it's be a setup to a really awesome joke.


Anyhow, today I wandered around a bit, went into Salzburgs Altstadt, and then looked around a bit. Decided to head up to one of these castles;

C'mon, don't they kind of look like they're made of Lego? Or am I just a little obsessed?

But they were a little pricey to get into. So I walked up the hill to them, and then turned around and came back. But not before taking a picture of this:

I really want to climb this mountain. Like, a lot. but I didn't have my gloves or warm jacket on, so I thought better of it... for now.


So I went and found a giant chess game to watch.

 Which was kinda cool, but I have always hated watching any sport. Even of things I love doing. And it was cold, so I went into a... cafe. And ate the best damn Apple Strudel I've ever had. Man, I love apple strudel. It's probably my favorite dessert, but it's so hard to get a good one.

Anyway, I'm gonna go do more stuff. Might go to a bar.

You are in my heart always.

My desert-island, all-time, top five books in chronological order are:

The Godfather (1969) by Mario Puzo
Watchmen (1985) by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
Jurassic Park (1990) by Michael Crichton
High Fidelity (1995) by Nick Hornby
The Last Samurai (2000) by Helen DeWitt

I could probably do a top twenty just as easily. But for the sake of brevity, this is just the top five.

Now, The Godfather is just a classic. Plain and simple. It was a great movie (well, the first one was), and an even better book. And every guy should have read it at least once. And yes, you're less of a man for having not read it.

Watchmen is one of the two comic books that created the term 'Graphic Novel' (which, to me, always seemed like a way for people who are insecure to tell other people that 'I read comic books.'). It was written as a way to explore the things that could be done within a comic, that could not be done in any other medium. Also, the fifth chapter, 'Fearful Symmetry' really made me question a lot of my own person beliefs and morality on certain issues. Forget that comic books are just for kids. Get over yourself, and go and read this freaking book. And don't watch that awful movie they made of it.

Jurassic Park is one of those books I will always love. When the movie first came out, I wasn't allowed to watch it, so to get around this, whenever we went into the bookstore, I'd grab a copy of this, and sit down to start reading, picking up wherever I last left off. It's the first book I think I ever boiught, and one of the happiest days of my life was when I found a hard-bound, first edition of this book in a second hand bookstore. Oh yeah, and in case you don't know, it's about dinosaurs.

High Fidelity is one of those books I both love and loathe. I love reading it, I love the movie, and just generally could go on about it for hours. But I loathe it too. It strikes a little too close to home for me. To be honest, the main character is basically me in another eight years. Which scares me a little.

Now, the Last Samurai. The first thing you need to know is that, save having the same name, it has nothing whatsoever to do with that horrible Tom Cruise movie. Second, you need to understand a little about what brought me to this book.

I was reading a whole lot of asofterworld (an online comic strip), and found on the website, a collection of interviews the author of the strip, Joey Comeau, had done with people who were important to him. One of them being this one with Helen DeWitt. I strongly encourage you to read that interview.

After reading that, and entranced by some of the ideas within that interview, I sought out The Last Samurai. Which to this day is one of the best decisions I have ever made. The Last Samurai made me feel really very stupid. But in a good way. It made me realise that there were all of these things in the world that I was ignorant of, and I wanted to know it all. You see, before I found that book, I was in a very weird place. I felt as if I were trapped, and if I stayed still any longer that I would stagnate, and rot.

All of a sudden, the world got a lot bigger (stupid really, it never really changed, I guess I just kind of had blinkers on for a long time), and life was worth living again.

I don't think I'm articulating this very well, but that book saved me.

Anyhow, if any of you are still reading this; yes, I am getting to the point. And no, I haven't forgotten that this is a blog of my travels. But bear with me just a little longer.

A little while ago, when I was still in Australia, I was in my backyard on a beautiful sunny day with a bottle of wine, a notebook to write whenever the mood would strike. and two books I was alternating between, one chapter at a time. The first was Slaughterhouse 5 (yes, the same book I talked about when I visited Schlachthof 5 in Dresden), by Kurt Vonnegut, and the second was Kingdom of Fear, by Hunter S. Thompson.

I had a very weird moment when I realised, after contemplating both of these books (which are also great, and you should totally read), that in the last five years, both of these wonderfully talented authors had died. And never would I have the chance to write to them and tell them how much I liked their books. Unless, of course, we end up on the same ice hockey team in hell (kidding).

Now, to bring us all back to the very nice town of Berlin. As I've said, this trip has also inspired hope for a better life, and has made me believe that anything is possible. And maybe, just maybe, those tides and dreams we look at from afar, are not so tall at all.

So I wrote to Helen DeWitt, who lives in Berlin, and we went out to lunch. 

For those of you who aren't just reading this for the articles

And it was great, we talked about all kinds of things, life, logistics, hopes, suicide. You know when you read an author, or maybe their blog, and from those little snippet of themselves the author has allowed you to read, you try and build up a mental image of what the author might be like. Well, I had an idea of the sort of person Helen DeWitt would be like, and I was not dissapointed. She was lovely, and gave me advice and thoughts on certain subjects, for which I am eternally grateful. There's lots more I guess I could say, but I might just leave it at that.

That was yesterday, and the day before, I went to the film museum at the Sony centre. There was a 'no photo's policy, so there isn't really much I can say. Maybe that I wish I'd seen a lot more German films. The full effect of the museum was probably a little lost on me. But still, fun.

Anyhow, That's about it from me for today. Tomorrow will not be very interesting at all, looks as if I'm going to spend roughly eight and a half hours on a train.

The joy.

You are in my heart always.

Bären Jäger

So I was watching 'The Dark Knight' the other day, and I realised two things, first of all, it really does deserve a repeat viewing. I mean, the first time I watched it, I thought it was kinda weak. But watching it again, I realise I was wrong. It is a brilliantly made film, and if you haven't seen it again recently, I really think you should.

The seconde thing was that in that film, there is a line (well, really a couple of lines) from the Joker, which I think really encapsulate this entire trip to Europe. The quote is:


"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! I just... do things."

And you know what, it's all worked out pretty well for me so far. There's never been much of a plan per se, I just... do things. And it's all worked out amazingly well. I think, well, maybe not an overall good idea for general life, but certainly on this trip it has served me well.

Anyhow, I guess that's quite enough of my general theory of travelling. And on to the play by play of what's been happening the last few days.

Starting out in Hamburg. where I visited the largest park there, saw the wonderfully designed Planetarium, and several such sights.

See, there are bears here. But it does appear that they've already been visited by the White Witch.

And I can't tell you why, but I really liked this building. Just kinda cool, really.

That night, I went off to the Kaiserkeller, for the Rammstein night they had there. Lot's of German Goths filled the club, and Rammtein a plenty was played. Although they also played a whole host of other stuff. For example, the best part of the night would have to be seeing the entire club going nuts for Rob Zombie's 'Dragula.' Anyway, I went to leave the club about four times, and each time ended up staying for 'Just another drink.' Needless to say, I got home a whole lot later than I wanted to, and ended up sleeping in.

Which was kind of a problem, 'cause I had to meet Claudia at the train station so we could go to Berlin. Made it with four minutes to go, and smelling like, well, a night of drinking. So we got there, and wandered around a little.

This used to sit behind the wall on the Eastern side. All through the city, there are markers for where the wall used to be. So I played a little jumping game. Where I jumped over the line, and back across, singing in my head (East, West, East, West). Which I think is more fun now than it would have been twenty five years ago. Where all you sing is West, East, We... Oh, fuck I'm dead. The East used a shoot to kill policy for all people trying to cross over into Western Berlin.

We met up with Carolin, who's brother lived in Berlin, and had very kindly offered me a couple of nights accomodation, and we went off to explore more of Berlin city.

Jolocaust memorial. Actually kinda fun. Very tempted to go back at night though.

And then we went to the natural history museum. It was cheap, and the weather kind of sucked, so it seemed like a good option. According to Carolin's brother, it had... well, this:

Oh yeah, that's right, a freaking Brachiosaurus skeleton. And it was amazing.

Not a great shot, but I'm trying to give you some idea of scale.

Allosaurus skull

Allosaurus claws. Note raw killing power. God damn dinosaurs are awesome.

And the skull of a dragon. It said it was the skull of a herbivore, but I know a freaking dragon when I see one.

This was filed in an area devoted to mutations. I don't know what in gods name it was supposed to be, but all I know is that it scared the hell out of me. I mean, serously, it looks kinda like how I imagine an Orc baby would look, if it were somehow crossed with an Alien, a Predator, and every nightmare that you or I have ever had.

Now, consider for a moment the trip so far. I mean it, go back through the blog, right now, and just look at the pictures. I mean, Amsterdam, Freiburg, Frankfurt, Oktoberfest in Munich, that magical night in Prague, the awesomeness of Dresden, Hamburg, freaking Legoland in Billund, Denmark, and now Brachiosaurus skeletons in Berlin. I mean, I've actually checked my pulse here a few times, just because it all seemed a little TOO awesome to not be the afterlife. But after all of this cool stuff at the natural history museum, I couldn't help but think, 'What if?'

And then I found it. The Archaeopteryx. The fossil of the dinosaur with wings and feathers. If you know what I'm talking about, you'll have an image in your head of what the fossil looks like. Something like this:

  

Or more like EXACTLY like that. Because of the ten or so fossils ever found of the Archaeopteryx, this was the one in best condition. So it's the one they use for all of the pictures. Oh, and the one above, is the photo I took. But if you look over at the Wikipedia page for the Archaeopteryx, you'll notice they use a picture of the same specimen.

Seriously, I mean, a boy has dreams... but this one I've had since I was aound eight or so. And you know what, it IS something beautiful when tides and dreams don't seem so tall at all. Just so you know.

After that, Claudia went home to Hamburg, and Carolin and I went off to a kind of street gallery in a place kind of like that building I talked about last time in the Shanze in Hamburg. This one was called the Tacheles.

After that, it was off to another exhibition. This time in a building which was to be demolished (and was already partially so) and put on by local art students.

In  this building.

This was by far my favorite. When a rotating light shone green on this picture, it looked like this.

And with the red.

Kind of mid-transition.

Some very interesting ink artwork.

Sadly, the exhibition was raided by the police at 1:30am and shut down. Most of the students lost their work. I wasn't there for it, but it was so freaking interesting in terms of how art focused this town is. I really l#ove it here. And I know I'm such a city-whore, and love so many places. But Berlin is amazing.

And here's a little more as to why...

An old airport, right in the middle of the city, which has been converted into a playground. With kites and everything. Kites, too, are awesome.

This is the roof of the Sony centre. I'm not going to say too much about this right now, there'll be more on this in the next couple of days.

A guy, walking around, selling and cooking bratwurst. With a gas tank strapped to his back.

A photo of a photo. Church being demolished because it was 'in the way`of where the East Germans wanted their wall.

 Okay, that's it for now. I'm in Berlin for a few days more, and I still have much to see.

EDIT: So, I started thinking more about the whole 'Dark Knight' thing. And it all rings true. Like, the Joker, in his conversation with the scarred Harvey Dent, goes on to say that 'You were a schemer, you had plans. And look where that got you.'

Once, I was a schemer, and I did have plans. and it never really got me anywhere.

Maybe I'm reading a little too much into what is essentially a Batman movie. But maybe not, too.

You are in my heart always.